“Turns out the smell was his wound which was seeping pus. It was from his leg dressing and it was so distinctive and we couldn’t get rid of it, even with coffee bags under the seats and toilet spray.”
Oh the friendly skies. All walks of life and all different cultures thrown together in a small tin can hurtling across the globe to a shared destination. For a while at least everyone all needs to ‘live’ together and share the same space. As crew, its our job to make everyone as comfortable as possible.
As much as some people might think their seat is their own little hotel room for the duration of the flight, newsflash: there are actually no walls. What you do has a direct impact on those in the seats next to, and around you.
As crew, dealing with 300 plus people on the daily, we get to see it all and witness these little yuckies more than most. Speak to every crewmember and they will have their own little disgusting story of foul actions from passengers. We see it, and we condemn it in the back galley.
Depending on the destination and the passenger type here are some of the worst and you can almost guarantee you’ll see them in some form, at some point.
Putrid Feet and Poor Foot Related Etiquette
Take off your shoes by all means, but if your shoes are festy, then please don’t wear them on board or if you must, keep them on. Do try your best to wear a fresh pair of socks too. A ripe pair of shoes or socks does not, for a nice journey, make. It’s quite hard as crew to detect for sure which pair of feet is doing the stinking, so when passengers complain to us about the smell, there’s only so much we can do short of asking each person in the vicinity to put their shoes on.
Speaking of feet. Keep them, and their little flaky deposits to yourself. Don’t point them to the heavens, place them on the seat or armrest in front, or pick them and flick them. Nail picking (and nose picking for that matter) is an indulgence best for your own quarters.
Dancing Blankets
Getting a little a little bored? A little restless or perhaps even a little turned on from the hottie sitting in the row front. Nice, but please resist. It might be an overnight flight and all quiet and dark, but as crew we see everything. We know what you’re doing under that blanket and it doesn’t just have a life of it’s own. Expend your energy in other ways and in other places please, it’s not that, um, hard.
Nappy Changing Nasties
The tray table is not a change table for bare bums, because it might be convenient but, shock horror, people actually eat off it. Also that rank aroma of baby faeces has now permeated the entire cabin. Please go to the lavatories, and use the change tables. Yes they are in each bathroom. Also, don’t just hand us a dirty diaper as we walk through. Bag it and bin it.
Spewing or Pooing in the Sink
We get it. Air travel means people are going to get sick from time to time, no less due to all the rich and heavy airline food washed down with a bit of turbulence. If you do get sick, and you manage to get to the toilets in time, please don’t chunder in the sink and do a runner. It’s surprising how much this happens and it doesn’t wash down so well.
It will be a nasty little surprise for those who come after you, and as soon as we are aware, it will mean one less toilet for you all to use. It should go without saying, but please also try to get your number two’s in the bowl, not the sink. There’s also a flush button/lever. Use it.
Rubbish Dumpers
Speaking of dumps, not officially as ‘disgusting’ as some of the others on this list, but its polite when you finish eating to wait until we come around and collect your rubbish. Just because you’ve finished, it’s not a license to just throw it in the aisle because you want to stow your tray table.
If I’m walking backwards up the aisle with the rubbish collection, I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, and now I just stepped in your leftovers and I’m now wearing your beef gravy and mash on my trousers. Now I also have do get down on my hands and knees to pick it up. Cheers for that. Wait until we come round to collect your rubbish please, or if you must, come down to the galley and leave it there. Throwing it in the aisles – NOT ON.
Hot Towels Where Hot Towels Shouldn’t Go
How refreshing that you’ve put that wet towel not only on your face but also under your arm pits and smeared it all over your sweaty body. I’ve seen folk dash their towel under their clothes for a quick refresh but when it comes to crew having to collecting your DNA laden towel, we’d prefer you use the lavatories for those little non-face freshen-ups. Also, there are these great things called travel wipes you can buy from the airport. Use them. Bin them.
What disgusting behaviours have you witnessed in the skies? Lets hear your foulest stories below!
